Sitting outside in this chair.
It’s an absolutely beautiful day- The sun is shining brightly and full. The clouds are little magical pillows in the sky and the breeze is cool. Crisp.
The perfect autumn day.
I suppose I “should” be feeling amazing right now- I’m off work. Filled with nourishing food. My hot tea keeping me company. I feel the cool breeze on my skin. The sunshine warms me. Soaks into my body from outside the threads that cover my human form.
No expectations from anyone.
But there’s this incessant feeling I have deep within me. Chest aching. Stomach churning.
The feeling of unease. The background of my mind moves as if searching for something.
Leaving me feeling incomplete in this moment, as if something is missing.
And I believe it has nothing to do with what’s going on externally, and that it has everything to do with me.
Perhaps there are no external expectations on this day, but internally, I have many mental boxes that have left to be checked off. That running list of things I feel I must do…or else!
“Or else” you might ask?
Or else.. I won’t:
-be good enough.
-reach my full potential.
-become financially independent.
-get out on my own and live the life of my dreams-living on MY terms.
Total illusions of reality.
So many “or else’s” it can become overwhelming to write them all out.
But in doing so, in writing out all of those persuasive reasons as to why I feel bad and incomplete in this moment, it helps me to realize something.
It helps me to realize that every feeling I ever experience in my body comes from my thoughts. From my mind. Like my mind and body are completely and wholly and directly linked to one another.
That realization is so powerful. And freeing if I allow it to be.
Because, you see, as soon as I come to realize that what I’m feeling is a direct reflection of what’s going on in my mind, I end up with 2 choices:
#1. To change my thoughts which in turn will change the feelings in my body.
#2. To continue the exact same thought pattern, getting the same results- good, bad, or otherwise.
These anxious, tense, and uncomfortable feelings in my body are mere creations of my mental habits.
Worrying about the future-about not having enough, not doing enough, not being enough. Never “arriving” to enjoy my successes.
But the truth is that I’m already a success. I’m a success right now.
And isn’t that one of the main purposes of our existence anyway?
So yeah, I may not be where I want to be…but I’m absolutely positive that I’m where I’m supposed to be right now In my life. In this moment. In this journey of existence.
And in order for me to become this huge success that I have envisioned for myself?
Well, that will take work. That will take being first, unsuccessful.
To be doing- well, the work I’m doing right now.
So I’m deciding now, in this moment, that I am okay. I’m finding my feet once again. I’m embracing where I am right now.
And I’m honoring myself.
Because truthfully, I am exactly the person I need to be now, in order to become the person I want to be in the future. In order to reach my destination.
So I’m going to keep on keeping on. Keep my nose to the grindstone, doing whatever it takes to get to where I’m going.
All the while knowing that I will meet hardship. Pain. Sadness & defeat.
But that’s all a part of the process. That’s all a natural part of this life. And when I change my expectations to become aligned with the realities of this life, living it doesn’t seem so hard afterall.
I look into the sky in wonder. What an absolutely magical existence this is. The mere beauty within a single cloud. A single ray of sunshine. And how grateful I am to be a part of it.
I close my eyes and smile. I am whole once again.
Thank you for reading! I love you.
You are special, and you are divine. Keep on keeping on and know that this life is completely worth living! Find the magic and beauty in your life.
In this day. This moment.
And smile. Because all we have is now. Take advantage of the life given to you today, and make your life truly meaningful.
Take care friend. 🙂
And until next time,
For more inspiration, feel free to visit me at my other blog Huckleberry: A little dash of inspiration.